Hi Reader

One of the most common questions I get asked is: “How do you compete against friends and still maintain the friendship?”

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I understand where this comes from. I’ve been there myself—competing in a knockout match at a major international event against a friend I was literally sharing a room with!

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It's tricky, no doubt.

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But I’m proud to say that some of my strongest friendships are with my toughest competitors.

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These friendships are unique and special, and I truly treasure them.

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However, when we step up to the line to compete, it’s all about “may the best athlete win.”

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Competing against friends can feel like walking a tightrope.

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On one hand, you want to give your best performance, and on the other, you may fear damaging the relationship.

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After all, you train to win, and you know how painful losing can be.

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The last thing you want is to be the one who causes that pain for a friend.

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You might even worry that winning could change the way they see you—or, if the tables turn, that you’ll need to manage your own disappointment while your friend celebrates.

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It’s a minefield.

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We’ve all seen examples of good winners and losers, but also bad ones.

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Balancing competition and friendship takes a strong mindset, and here are some strategies to help you handle it with confidence and grace.

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​1. Remember the Bigger Picture

At the end of the day, competing against a friend doesn’t change the bigger goal—you both want to be the best versions of yourselves.

Competition is about “self-improvement”, not beating someone down. Your focus should always be on your own growth and progress, and supporting your friend’s growth too.

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​2. Keep It Healthy

Healthy competition is a powerful motivator. When you compete against a friend, it should inspire both of you to bring your best.

Think of it as mutual growth rather than rivalry. Respect their abilities, and they’ll respect yours. I truly believe in the saying, “A rising tide lifts all boats.”

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​3. Set Clear Boundaries

It can help to have an open, honest conversation before competing. Let your friend know that during the competition, you’ll be giving 100%—and that you expect the same from them.

Once it’s over, leave the results on the field. This way, you can keep competition and friendship separate and enjoy both fully.

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​4. Focus on What You Can Control

In any competition, the only thing you can control is your own actions, mindset, and preparation. Competing against a friend doesn’t change that.

Stay focused on your routines, execution, and mental game. Don’t let thoughts about their performance distract you—control what you can: yourself.

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​5. Celebrate Each Other’s Success

Whether you win or lose, celebrate your friend’s effort. Being genuinely happy for their success doesn’t take anything away from your own. In fact, it can deepen your friendship and turn competition into an opportunity for both of you to grow.

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​6. Use Your Friendship as a Support System

Friends understand each other’s challenges better than anyone. Competing against a friend can be a huge advantage—you can share tips, support each other, and learn together. The shared experience will push you both to reach new heights.

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​7. Compete With Honour

Look at competing your best against a friend as a way to honour their skill and talent. It shows that you respect them enough to give it your all and expect them to do the same. True competitors want their friends to push them to their limits.

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Competing against friends doesn’t have to feel awkward or tense.

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With the right mindset, you can respect both your friendship and your competitive spirit. The result? You walk away stronger in both areas.

Stay positive, stay focused, and be a great friend!

Lisa

PS: I'm currently closed for bookings until the 23rd September. If you want to book in advance for a free session, click here​